Enough
by coffeeandpaperbacks
Summary: What if True Love isn't enough? What if sharing True Love with the Saviour doesn't pardon Regina? A story about love in our reality, a reality where relationships aren't made of sunshines and butterflies. [Post S4] [Future Fic]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : ** Title of this fanfic inspired by Emeli Sande's "Enough" (check it out on Youtube). A story about True Love and whether it is enough to keep our two protagonists together. A relationship in the real world isn't all sunshine and butterflies. How will Emma and Regina have one in Storybrooke, in this real world?

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><p><strong><span>Enough<br>****Chapter 1**

She hummed to Ella Fitzgerald's White Christmas playing in the background as she moved around her living room, decorating the place with festive ornaments. She had skipped dinner again. Losing count of the number of times she had done so in this month, she didn't see the point in making dinner and consuming it alone. And then being forced by her body to purge it out later as well.

Checking on the gingerbread cookies, she returned to the living room to put up the stockings. This year, there was an addition beside Henry's. She sighed at the thought of the other mother of her son and the love of her life. She had promised herself that she would not think about their frequent absences, choosing instead to fill her time with activities to pass time. She had to stay busy while they did their own thing with whoever.

The truth was, as much as Regina ignored and suppressed the hurt that spread across her chest every time she was left alone, a part of her relished in the pain. There were parts of the girl her mother raised that screamed in glee to inform Regina that she deserved to be alone. She deserved every figurative stab in her heart from the people she loved for her past transgressions. Being in love with Emma only intensified such feelings of unworthiness.

She tried to shrug away the melancholic thoughts as she removed the cookies from the oven, placing them on the cooling rack. She enjoyed the warmth from the oven, her thin frame now struggled to retain heat. She considered bundling up in layers but there was little sense since she would be moving around the house, rushing the decorations for Henry's sake.

She had been feeling so unwell this past months, throwing up almost everything she ate and feeling light headed and nauseous constantly. Regina Mills was tired, hungry and the last thing she felt like doing was to be merry. Yet, like any mother who craved love and attention from their children, what Henry wanted, she would give it to him.

Which was probably why Snow had organised a Christmas eve dinner. Emma was always a sucker for family moments, even if she would never admit it aloud. Even if those family moments did not include her true love. When Emma and Henry had kept silent about the supposed family dinner, the silent un-invitation was clear to Regina. She had only gotten to know about the dinner earlier this week. When Granny "joked" that her body already rejecting Snow's poor cooking in advance, she laughed along until the side of her eyes were wet from tears. She thanked the matriarch over the phone for her genuine concern over her welfare and ended the call.

Their relationship had significantly improved, thanks to Regina's friendship with Red. The matriarch also found out that Regina had purposefully kept the grandmother with her grandchild during the curse because the Evil Queen had a soft spot for the pair. Regina had stopped going to the diner to avoid confrontations with people or Emma's parents, which prompted frequent calls from Granny and visits from Ruby. Regina felt that every call or visit with either Red or Granny ended awkwardly. As if they had something to say but couldn't utter the words . Time and time again but Regina didn't have the energy to probe into their mysteriousness. This time, the silent notification was a welcomed but painful warning, to warn Regina just in case Emma pulled the same stunt as she did during Thanksgiving.

And she did. The only variant between this time and the last was the additional lie that Emma threw in. Like a bone to Regina, Emma had baited Regina with a promise of dinner, exclaiming that the brunette shouldn't slave away on Christmas eve. That she wanted to bring her and Henry out for an expensive meal in the next town over, away from the prying and judging eyes of the citizen of Storybrooke. Regina was overjoyed, despite her stomach immediately feeling queasy over the mention of food, because she had assumed that Emma had chose her over Snow. Her heart soared at the thought of spending time with Emma and Henry as a family.

Regina would later, or rather earlier this day, realise that the promise was merely a decoy. Only an additional lie to the method Emma had used during Thanksgiving. In November, Emma sent her a text thirty minutes before dinner, which she had taken the whole afternoon to prepare, only to inform the brunette that Henry and herself was stuck in Snow's house, forced to have dinner with her parents, brother, the pirate and the dwarfs. Regina knew that Snow would never do for an unplanned Thanksgiving dinner party. What pained Regina most but she would never admit, was the absence of an invitation and apologies from her True love and son. So she sat at the table, filled with food she had prepared but couldn't stomach, alone and in tears. As she felt Emma slide under the covers on the bed to spoon the her, Emma's drunken slurred sorry and hand on her breast made Regina's pillow wet from tears.

Regina now doubted that there was any intention on Emma's part to actually bring her out for Christmas Eve dinner with Henry in the first place. At midnight, Emma sent a message to inform that they were both staying over at Snow's and that they would probably be back after lunch the next day. Regina took sips from her cup of tea, wishing she could place a bandage over her breaking heart with alcohol but her body had started rejecting it around the same time as it did with food. So she stared at the auburn flames from her bundled up position on the couch while Sinatra continued to croon about the most wonderful time of the year. Regina wonders if feeling cold and being alone was to be her life until it ended.

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><p>"Regina? Are you okay?" a soft voice accompanied by a gentle shake woke her up. She sighed and blinked tiredly at the person who was kneeling by the couch. She was wistful in thinking that Emma and Henry decided to spend the night at home. She smiled at Ruby, "I was until you decided to wake me...What time is it?"<p>

Ruby's expression faltered at Regina's reply, that she was feeling okay but had been interrupted from much needed rest because of her. "I'm sorry, Regina. I thought...uhm. Nevermind. I'm really sorry. It's one in the morning. I just finished at the diner and I know Emma and Henry...Well they aren't here so I thought I'd come and see you," Ruby finished her sentence with a smile, standing up only to sit next to Regina as the older brunette sat up.

"D-don't worry about it, dear. I only just fell asleep," Regina replied as evenly as possible, not wanting to show the fact that she was very touched by Red's gesture. "Have you eaten? Please tell me you didn't skip again," Red furrowed her eyebrows, creasing her forehead as she took in the paleness and hollowness in Regina's cheeks. Without her make up, Regina was gorgeous as hell but it was also more obvious that she wasn't feeling well by the dark circles under her eyes and paleness. Her own heartbeat thudded in her ears as she cupped Regina's jaw with both her hands and brushed Regina's cheeks with her thumbs.

"You didn't skip again." Regina joked, laughing lightly as Red furrowed her brows even further at her attempt at a joke. "It's not funny, Regina. It really isn't. Please, let me make you something to eat," Ruby removed her hands from Regina's face only to wrap her arms around the older woman's neck and pulled her into a hug.

Regina closed her eyes and smiled, enjoying Red's warmth enveloping her and affection that wasn't foreplay. Her smile tightens as she realises that she can't remember the last time she was on the receiving end of sincere hugs from Emma and Henry. Henry was no longer the boy that was generous with his affection for her. The fact that he did nothing to stand up for her only convinced her further that it was karma. She deserved to have her son that made a sport out of slicing her heart for banishing her own mother. What comes around goes around after all. Emma's hugs only led to one thing and that rough activity usually left Regina more drained and tired than she felt cherished and loved. Love making was rare when Emma usually wanted it hard and fast.

"I can't keep it in, Red. I've tried…" Regina murmured, trailing off as she extracted herself from Red's hold, immediately missing the warmth. Red acted like her annoying younger sister most of the time but she was fiercely protective of Regina. The drift between Red and Snow had started when Snow refused to recognise her relationship with Emma despite solid proof that the couple shared True Love. Snow and Regina's tentative relationship after the Snow Queen fiasco crumbled to dust when Emma and Regina broke Maleficent and Cruella's curse. Red and Granny wouldn't stand for Snow's hypocrisy and that was when Regina gained more family.

"You have to eat to keep your strengths up. Every time I see you, I swear you get thinner. And mind you, I see you almost everyday," Red quipped, reaching for Regina's cold hands to warm them. "My my, such flair for dramatics, little Red," Regina husked, in a low voice that the Evil Queen used to tease. "Gina! Ugh. You know I can't stand the Evil Queen voice. My body gets so turned on but my brain shuts it down. Don't make me steal you from good-for-nothing Emma," Red groaned, standing up from the couch to put some space between Regina and herself.

At the mention of Emma and the adjective used to describe the love of her life, Regina's smirk turns into a frown. "Don't call her that," Regina mumbles, looking around the decorated room. It looked like a Christmas explosion but the warmth and love was sorely lacking. Regina and Emma's relationship had started some time in February and this would be the first Christmas they celebrated as a family. If they ever get around to celebrating Christmas in a same room, that is. They have been together for almost a year and Regina now felt like she was falling apart physically and emotionally. Every stab wound to her heart caused by her happy ending required stitches. It required bandages upon bandages to stop the bleeds. Regina figured that there were only so many bleeders she could stop before her heart gives way. She stared at the flickering christmas lights that adorned the tree that she had magicked into the living room earlier and sighed aloud.

"Regina?" she heard Red call her name, pulling her attention from the lights. She sighed internally, hoping that the wolf would finally reveal the secret she has been keeping. "I think you should go see a doctor out of town after Christmas. We will go to Boston for a day," red suggested softly.

Regina turned to Red, taking note of the darkened brown orbs and creased forehead. She knew instinctively, despite not having Emma's superpower, that Ruby was still concealing something. Perhaps Red's wolf senses had already revealed the cause for her sickness. The wolf's suggestion to accompany her to Boston touched her deeply but she knew Emma would throw a fit if she disappeared with Red for no reason. The fact that Emma has no knowledge of Regina's sickness or rather has made no comment or action about it irked Red to no end. When it came to health matters, Regina has always been the suffer in silence sort. Surely Regina's true love would have realised that she wasn't feeling well if she was losing weight and weak on her feet.

Regina didn't want to tell Emma that her reason for going to Boston would be to see a doctor. She didn't want to endure the disappointment of her true love not caring about her. If Emma just nodded or shrug it off as if Regina had told her something inconsequential. Or worst, if she acted as if Regina was annoying her. Emma was civilised and almost cold in front of Henry but when they were alone, nothing Regina could do or say was right except when they were having sex. Emma's recent short fuse was worrisome and Regina's insecurity about love made the brunette withdraw to silence. How the angry townspeople and Snow would rejoice if they knew how pathetic the Evil Queen had become. Perhaps her mother was right, love is a weakness.

"I need an excuse to leave town, Red. Can't just le-" she stands abruptly, intending to go to the kitchen for some hot water for her tea but her legs fail her and she can feel herself crashing. The last thing she sees and hears is Red rushing forward and calling her name.

"Regina!"

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><p><strong>AN : **Any ideas on what Regina is suffering from? Tell me what you think in your reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **I'm guessing not a lot of people enjoy angst during the jolly season but a big thank you to those who have followed, favourited or reviewed this fic. I appreciate your input a lot and I hope you continue giving me feedback. I don't have a beta-reader so I'm sorry in advance for the mistakes.

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><p><span><strong>Enough<strong>

**Chapter 2**

_2 weeks from Christmas Day, 2014_

"Emma!"

Regina moaned as the blonde's tall frame traps her against the door. Regina eyelids felt weighted as she struggled to open her eyes, she felt her body slipping as the blonde pushed her two fingers without warning into her heat. Eyelashes fluttering, she places her hands on Emma's shoulders but tilts her neck to accommodate Emma's nips and kisses. She can feel her legs becoming weak, barely supporting her frame as her heads thuds repeated against the door. Calling Emma's name comes out as a strangled moan and it only encourages Emma to lift her with her arms and wrap her legs around the blonde. Her ankles are locked around Emma's waist as she feels Emma's lips curl into a smirk against her collarbone.

Once again, without warning, Emma thrusts her against the wall by adding another finger and Regina feels lightheaded from the pounding in her heat and at the back of her head. The combined sensation of pain and pleasure was not new to Regina. As the Evil Queen, she had enjoyed that particular kind of activity. Being the one to inflict pain and being in control appealed to her as she kept the intimacy to a bare minimum. It was a way to dominate and exert control over her partner at that time. She couldn't deny that she was aroused and dripping with pleasure for Emma as evidenced by her multiple orgasms but she felt like a rag doll. Emma was relentless and insatiable and Regina struggled to catch her breath.

She was placed on her desk in her office, wincing internally as she had hoped that they would continue their activity on a more comfortable surface. Her body tensed as she feels the air in the room change, she knew instinctively that magic was being discharged and since she was far too spent to exert any energy, Emma was performing a spell. She was sore from the rough love-making and tired from having spent a good deal of her afternoon heaving but she wanted to make love to Emma. To have the blonde beg for her, to respond and moan to her kisses and touches. Despite the immediate arousal that she felt, a part of her winced as she felt a hard member brush against her thigh.

"Em-," she was interrupted by Emma's lips crashing roughly into her as the blonde's hand held onto her hips. Entranced by the Emma's passion, she moaned loudly when Emma's tongue brushed her lower lips, as if asking for permission. She fists the red leather to pull Emma closer, suddenly empowered by Emma's affectionate display. She feels Emma's hands tangle in her hair while she tries to remove Emma's jacket, wanting to feel her skin against Emma's. Emma remained in her shirt and jacket, only bare waist down while Regina was left in her bra. Emma had removed her jeans earlier, to free her throbbing member which the blonde had magically added to her private anatomy. Regina was disappointed that Emma had refused her the opportunity to make love to the blonde naturally, having chosen instead to use magic to achieve satisfaction from Regina's tight folds.

"I want to be in you," Emma demanded, as she bit into the flesh above Regina's nipple and used her hands to push Regina's thighs apart. Not that Regina truly minded, the former monarch was just dreading the ways in which her body would betray her tomorrow. Emma pressed herself flushed against Regina's body, rocking her body to angle her member near Regina's entrance. Emma's hands trace Regina's back, arching the brunette to her body as she leans against the desk.

Emma smirks as she hears Regina groan, mistaking those sounds as signs of pleasure. "Do you want me to fuck you?" She asks, licking Regina's nipples until they were hard and glistening. A question that proves to be purely rhetorical, Regina cries out in pain as Emma slams her full 8 and a half inches into her sore folds. Having experimented with toys previously, Emma knew the best length to hit Regina's G-spot. Regina felt her muscles responding to Emma's deep strokes but the initial pain had brought tears to her eyes did not fade. Regina places her hands on Emma's shoulders, in hopes of slowing the blonde to a more acceptable pace for her body but to no avail.

Despite her pain, Regina met Emma's thrust, the sounds that escaped her was a mixture of pain and pleasure as Emma repeatedly pounded into the sensitive spot within her. Emma's girth stretched Regina, despite the blonde's previous use of multiple fingers. The speed was punishing and Regina wanted comfort from Emma's affection, burying her fingers in the blonde curls that she adored, she tried to guide Emma's lips to hers. She encountered resistance as Emma prefered to breathe heavily into her neck, occasionally placing possessive bites. Regina surrenders to Emma, too tired and weak to pull the blonde for a kiss and stares at the ceiling above her. She struggles to find an anchor to reality as she is almost at the climax of her pleasure, her fold providing more resistance to Emma's hard member. The last thing she remembers is the amber glow of the evening skies filling the room, Emma's fingers digging into her hips and the low guttural groans in her ears. And as she feels the blonde paints her womb with cum, she closes her eyes and allow the tears to fall from the corner. It was a blessing that Regina passed out, whether from the pain or her climax, because the sight of Emma pulling her jeans up and rushing out of the house to respond to a call from the station would have surely added another cut to Regina's already bleeding heart.

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><p><em>Christmas Day, 2014<em>

Regina only has a moment to revel in the warmth emanating from the body beside hers and the arm holding her possessively before she shrugs it aside to rush towards the bathroom, hoping desperately that her legs would carry her there. She clutches her abdomen as she heaves painfully into the toilet and she feels a hand holding her hair while rubbing her back. She was glad to have her shoulder length hair away from her face as she closed her eyes to enjoy the brief reprieve that her stomach had allowed her.

When it seemed like she has no more of herself to purge, she supports herself to stand with the toilet. Her lungs and muscles hurting from heaving and her legs were weak from kneeling. She feels arms circle her waist to support her and she smiles faintly at the break in her usual lone-wolf routine in the bathroom. She pointed to the sink, indicating that she wanted to wash up since she struggling to find her voice with her raw throat. Only receiving a solemn nod and creased brows as response, she looks into the mirror only to gaze into familiar brown orbs that previously held terrifying fire and alluring passion. She takes one last look at her own reflection and she proceeded with her morning routine.

Red used the bathroom in one of the guestrooms, which held toiletries that were identical to the ones she used at home. She had a few sets of clothes in the closet too, having slept over a few times in the past months. Not that Emma would know since there were quite a few guest rooms in Regina's mansion and hers was the closest to the stairs leading down to the kitchen and back door. Red used her sensitive hearing and track Regina's slow movements in the room. She was terrified for Regina's welfare after yesterday's incident but respected the brunette's need for privacy. Red was pretty sure she overstepped some invisible lines that Emma had set when she slept with Regina in their bed. Their relationship was purely sisterly and platonic from the start but there was an obvious sense of understanding between Regina and Red that had made Emma uncomfortable or rather, angrily possessive.

She wanted so badly to drag Emma and Henry by their ears out of Snow's loft. To scold them and maybe even throw a few punches, just to start off something that will allow her to break some bones. Preferably theirs. If she broke any, it would mean the end of them since the wolf rarely spared mercy to stupid foolish people. It was this dark, mischievous and dramatic side of her that made it possible for Regina and herself to be friends. They could always giggle like school girls about ridiculous taunts, flirtatious lines and imagined horrors. Regina fainted before she could complete her sentence but Red already guessed that the brunette would say something like that. Emma was too much like her father when it came to treating their significant other. It was sweet and "charming", the way that David would always find Snow but Regina isn't Snow and Emma's tight grip has twisted something so loving into a method of control, to have Regina ask for the Emma's and Henry's permission. Not that they ever extended the same courtesy to Regina, Red thought bitterly.

She would have to discuss some of her ideas with Regina once the woman decides on her clothes. Her sensitive hearing could hear Regina curse under her breath as her sister from thank-the-heavens-another mother walked slowly towards her room. It was amusing to hear her complain about loose fitting clothes when Red knew of women who would die for Regina's figure. But her thoughts made her frown as she remembered the cause for Regina's weight loss.

"Red? Are you ready?" Regina had regained her voice, her strength returning to her and that brought a wide grin to Red's face. Red's jaw dropped as she took in the gorgeous sight of Regina in skinny jeans and cashmere sweater. It wasn't the first time that Regina dressed casually but coupled with Regina's thin frame, it made her looked so devastatingly vulnerable and beautiful. Red had to hold herself back from taking Regina in her arms and crushing her in a tight hug. Her alpha-male overprotectiveness, as Regina calls it, would get her in trouble one day.

"Is there something wrong with what I'm wearing? Let me change. Then we can go see Granny and have breakfast with her," Regina said nervously, turning towards her own room but her trek is interrupted by Red's fingers curled around her wrists. She wasn't confident about her appearances, knowing that there was a possibility that she looked like how she felt on the inside-horrible. It didn't help that Emma couldn't stand to look at her, not even when they were having sex. Regina felt like she was transparent most of the time, except when Emma or Henry wanted something or a part of her.

"Nothing wrong with being the most gorgeous woman ever, Gina. Don't change. You look more than great, okay? Granny will be thrilled. I can't wait for our presents," Red teased, pulling the older brunette gently as her eyes conveyed her sincerity. It pained her to see the insecurity on Regina's face and when the day came for her to give Emma and Henry a piece of her mind on their treatment on Regina, she would tear a vein or two from under their skin. A gross overstatement but she would do the figurative equivalent when the time came for that.

Regina gave a small smile to Red as she found herself being led down the street towards the diner, decorated in festive decorations and bustling with Christmas breakfast crowd. Regina vaguely heard Red's chatter when her own eyes are drawn to a familiar flash of blonde hair in passionate lip-lock with a familiar leather-clad figure across the road. It was too late for Red to divert Regina's attention from what was happening and the wolf cursed herself for being too occupied with making sure Snow wasn't in the diner to realise the familiar scents.

Regina's legs betrayed her first and as she slumped into Red's tight hold, the previous faint blush in her cheeks lost, as she could only whisper her supposed true love's name before fainting.

"Emma."

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><p><em>2 weeks from Christmas Day, 2014<em>

It didn't matter that Regina was not awake to see Emma leave, the brunette was more conscious than she liked when she woke up shivering and nauseous on the desk in just her bra. Regina winced as her feet finally landed on the carpeted floor after slowly stretching her stiff legs to successfully remove herself from the desk. She was sore in every part of her body, especially in between her legs and her heart. She didn't let go of her desk until she was sure that she could make the trek between the desk and the nearest item of clothing. She internally thanked whatever deity who was witnessing such her embarrassment that Henry was staying over at the Tillmans'.

As she made the slow crawled around the room to collect her clothes around the room, having been thrown and torn apart carelessly by Emma, she kept her thoughts focused on this activity. She had to, she couldn't come undone or she would have nothing left. When she was dressed as best as she could, she made her slow journey towards the master bathroom. The December winds were harsh and despite the central heating, Regina had caught a slight sniffle from having fallen asleep on the desk since the fireplace wasn't lit. If she had the energy, Regina would laugh mirthlessly at the fact that she was treated no better than a common whore in her own house by her true love.

If Regina had allowed her mind to stray into more complex thoughts as she scrubbed her skin raw in the bathtub, she would weep over the fact that she was a sex toy to her true love, a bank to her son and a housekeeper to the both of them. She should have known that the true love that she deserved would not be the eternal happiness and unconditional love that Snow and Charming kept bragging about. She guessed that even villains who did get their happy endings would receive the villain's version.

It wasn't the first time that Emma had spent time with her with the sole purpose of sex but the added cut to her heart was that she had been left so worthlessly on the desk. She had taught and Emma, in turn, had mastered the magic of dressing (and undressing) someone by their third magic lesson after the incident with Ingrid, Elsa and Anna. Emma constantly boasted that she could do it in less than 2 seconds and Regina sobbed in the tub of hot water, hugging her knees to her chest. She wasn't even worth 2 seconds of Emma's time. She was convinced she was worth nothing and to expect a note from Emma would be an unfair expectation since Emma was constantly busy.

Regina didn't need to cry herself to sleep when all parts of her body was aching and her heart was bruised beyond recognition. Regina was beyond recognition to even herself and in her curled up fetal position on the bed, she had a wistful thought of never waking up from her slumber.

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><p><strong>AN : **Tell me what you think with your reviews. I'd love to know what you think about the sex scenes. ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

**A/N : **Thank you for the follows, favourites and reviews! A very nice Christmas/New Years present from my readers. So from what I gathered from the reviews, Regina needs to be badass again, love RedQueen moments and we hate Emma? Most people think that Regina is pregnant from the whole magic cock thing but is she really? A pregnant Regina fic or something more "challenging and creative sickness-wise"? (Let me know via review/pm)

Also, a side note to the reviewer who said they would stop reading if this was a cheating fic. I'm focusing on the neglect and mental abuse that Emma has done towards Regina and the unbalanced dynamic in their relationship. I might have an explanation on the lip lock and things might clear up for you. I don't know yet. Either way, it's okay not to like certain types of fics. Fanfic readers, alike any readers of fiction, bring their own history/background when reading works. It's cool that you're giving me a heads up. Helps me consider readers' POV about my fic. I believe that most, if not all, fanfic writers publish for their readers and less for themselves. It is to connect with people who share the same fantasy as you do regarding their favourite characters. One wouldn't publish it if it were just for their own personal writing and reading pleasure. So thanks for connecting with me.

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><p><span><strong>Enough<strong>

**Chapter 3**

_Christmas Day_

"Emma."

Having an unconscious Regina in her arms for the second time in less than 24 hours was terrifying. Red kept calling the brunette by name as she carried her bridal style into the diner. Needless to say, everyone was alarmed by the sight of an angry werewolf carrying the Evil Queen. Granny came out from the back, and with one look at her granddaughters, pointed for Red to carry Regina into the backroom couch.

"All of you continue your eating and yapping." she said gruffly before following her granddaughters into the backroom. She clicked her tongue at the pale and barely concealed dark circles beneath Regina's eyes. "She is seeing a doctor today," Granny decided ultimately but both of them knew that Whale was out of the question. That slimy excuse of a man would happily slice Regina's throat when given the chance. Red nodded, understanding what her grandmother was implying.

She had guessed that Emma and Hook was on their way to the diner, refusing to let her grandmother or any of the staff serve them, she made the decision to let Granny know about the cause for Regina fainting. "We were about to enter the diner when saw them across the road. Kissing," Red growled out the last part, the wolf in her wanted to tear out Hook's throat and feed it to Emma and let her choke on it. She could hear the bell to the diner door ringing and she could hear Emma's voice from the instant lack of chatter as the blonde entered the diner with that pirate. She turned, intending to storm out of the backroom but she was held back by Granny who merely passed her the keys to her Camaro. "You know she would hate it if you caused a big fuss." Henry would hear about it and think that Regina sent Red to ruin Christmas for his blonde mother. "Take her out the back and go. I will handle them. Now!" Red hesitated at her grandmother's directive, a part of her itching to just swing the door ajar and slap Emma to oblivion for mistreating Regina.

But it was more important for Regina to get medical treatment, both granddaughter and grandmother could hear the brunette's breaths become slower. Red could hear the slow rhythmic beat and it made her anxious because it was far slower than usual. She went ahead to open the passenger door and returned for Regina. Slowing transferring the unconscious brunette from her arms into her car, she hurriedly started her journey towards Boston.

Granny walked back into the main area in her diner and found Emma and Hook at the bar, as if waiting for her to take their order. She would show them the consequence of betraying her granddaughter. She stood in front of them, her expression was one of hidden anger and disappointment. "Merry Christmas, Granny! Can I get -" Emma smiled as she greeted the matriarch but was interrupted by Granny's quiet but authoritative, "No." Emma was caught off guard by the expression on Granny's face, she wasn't sure what the "no" meant. There was something extra intimidating about Granny's quietness since she was usually loud. Like the storm before the calm and it made Emma shift uncomfortably.

Emma was suddenly aware of the silence in the diner, despite the large crowd. Granny looked around the diner to meet the eyes of the townspeople, daring each and everyone of them to reveal what had happened minutes before Emma and Hook came into the diner. One could feel the anger rolling of the matriarch and only someone truly stupid would challenge the silent threat. She pointed at the door, indicating for Emma and Hook to leave. Everyone else who were wiser realised that Granny was putting them on the blacklist. Red would have gotten physically violent but Granny knew that Regina would not appreciate it. At least this way, she could cut off Emma's bearclaw supply. Emma and Hook didn't understand why Granny was behaving in such a hostile manner but some people who had pieced the stories together just shook their heads and returned to their food. They would only end up on the list as well if they intervened.

Emma was tempted to hold her ground and argue with Granny but a part of her realised that her banishment might have something to do with Henry and herself abandoning Regina to celebrate Christmas with her parents, the dwarfs and Killian. Emma didn't relish in the idea of having her private actions scrutinised by all the patrons in the diner. "We'll come back when you feel better, Granny. Let's go, Killian," she said quietly, tugging him by the elbow. "We can't leave. What about breakfast, love? We didn't do anything. What's the matter? eh Granny?" Hook chose this moment to open his mouth and everyone in the diner winced at his stupidity. The man must have surely soaked his brain in sea water for far too long. Emma's eyes widened at Killian's protest, loathing the man at the moment for being so stupid.

Granny smirked at the pirate, secretly glad that he had refused to leave when she had asked. She whistled and bent under the counter to retrieve her crossbow. Emma's immediate instinct was to draw her gun but was interrupted by a large figure holding her in a locked position. Emma had wanted to disarm the person by throwing him forward but he was not swayed. Granny wished she had a camera with her, to capture the moment where Hook flailed helplessly while he was held by two arms locking his arms behind the pirate's head. "Officer Fa, are you still in my diner? Can you please explain to the Sheriff and this poor excuse of a man that trespassers will receive an arrow through their body. I believe they didn't understand me very well when I told them the first time." She pointed the crossbow in between Hook's legs and the pirate's protest and shouts made her grin. The rest of the patrons their amused smirks behind coffee cups.

Emma and Hook stopped struggling and were red faced as they were held by Granny's chefs, who may or may not have been Regina's personal guards in the Enchanted Forest. Mulan, who was on duty since she did not celebrate Christmas, decided to speak up, smirking as she nodded at the two men holding Emma, her boss and Hook. "Emma, Hook. Granny is right. The town charter states that property owners are allowed to shoot trespassers. And despite it being a diner, we are all here at the pleasure of Granny." Emma creased her eyebrows, having thought that Mulan would help her out of this situation. How did a breakfast run end up as a stand-off with Granny on Christmas morning for that matter.

Mulan was confused when Red stormed into the diner with an unconscious Regina in her arms until they were followed shortly by Emma and Hook walking in as if they didn't have a care in the world. She had been observing Regina since she arrived in Storybrooke, curious to know if the Evil Queen had indeed changed for the better. Their chance encounters at the place known as the supermarket had been interesting. Mulan had observed Regina's slow changes throughout the months. From a woman who was confidently strutting down the aisles, choosing the most healthy and often expensive goods into her basket, the former queen became someone who was holding onto the cart like her life depended on it. Mulan could remember holding Regina when the older brunette had started swaying on her feet in the cereal aisle. She had seemed unwell and judging by her treatment by the other people in the supermarket, Mulan could understand that she was alone most of the time. Regina was polite and meek when she found her balance in the Asian woman's arms, nothing like the Evil Queen that David was always ranting about. Mulan instinctively suspected that something was wrong and had asked Emma a few time casually when they patrolled together. Emma was happy about her life, Henry, living with Regina. So why did the reformed Evil Queen look so sad all the time? Something inside Mulan begged for an investigation and the current events only solidified her gut instinct. She never had much issue with going against authorities to do what she felt was right.

Mulan was brought back to the present day when Matt and Mark pushed Emma and Hook out of the diner. The two were short of throwing Emma and Hook out literally and Granny's cheshire grin would have made Jefferson two men stood by the door to discourage the pair from attempting to enter. Mulan mused at the sight of Granny replacing her cross bow under the counter and returned to shouting for orders to be done. The fact that everyone else in the diner had simply resumed the level of chatter and utensils scraping the plates made it obvious to Mulan that Storybrooke was definitely not normal in any sense. Nothing new there.

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><p><em>June, 2014<em>

Regina smiled as she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist from behind her as she rinsed off the soap on a plate. Her lips curled into a smile when she feels Emma's breath on her neck. "Want to leave it for later?" Emma whispered into her ears as she felt hands trace her hips and waist. "Why? It's not like I have anything else to do now," she teased as she picked up a bowl form the soapy waters.

"I can think of a few things you could be doing instead of this. Or rather, someone," Emma smirked as she reached into the soapy waters to pull Regina's hands out, grabbing a towel to wipe them dry while the brunette let her. "I don't think my girlfriend will be very happy with your suggestion. She's very possessive, you know," Regina quipped as she slipped out of Emma's hold, circling the island counter as if to run away from Emma teasingly.

"I'm sure she has good reason to be. After all, who wouldn't if you were their girlfriend?" Emma joked as she started to circle the opposite side of the counter where Regina was standing but the brunette was determined to win this cat and mouse game between herself and Emma. They could make as much noise as they wanted since Henry had left to stay over at the Tillman's. "I think you should stop coming closer, Sheriff. I'd hate to be you if my girlfriend found out you invaded my personal space," Regina said faux-seriously as her eyes shifted to the archway for her exit. As Emma followed Regina's line of sight to the archway, they both realised there was no way the brunette would make it without magic and Emma quirked her eyebrows to dare the older woman to cheat her way out of their game. "It's not an invasion of personal space if you want it to happen, Miss Mills," Emma smirked and laughed internally at the seductive tone of Regina's statement. She knew now that Regina enjoyed calling her Sheriff when they foreplayed far too well, knowing that if she had known years ago, they might have started fucking in the cells then.

Regina knew that she had no way to escape Emma's hold when the blonde inevitably caught her. Not that she truly wanted to anyway. The blonde was her happy ending, so was life and living with Henry and Emma. A part of her didn't think a happy ending was possible for her. She didn't want it to be an ending though, just happy for the rest of her life with Henry and Emma. "You're assuming awfully a lot, aren't you?" She decided then that she would make a run for it because she wasn't one to give in just like that so she faked a right and dashed towards the archway that would lead her out of of the kitchen.

Emma didn't buy the fake though and merely had to reach out and grab the smaller brunette by the waist. When Emma had finally wore down all the walls and defences that Regina put up to protect herself, the once imposing and threatening woman became smaller in stature. And when Regina tucked herself into Emma when they cuddled, Emma was sure that she could never replace such a feeling. She loved the fact that Regina belonged to her, that she alone had such a power. But just as she had power over Regina, Regina could break her at any moment by walking way if she ever realised that Emma Swan was actually unworthy of her love. A love that Regina had been giving with her entire being.

Regina barely struggled in Emma's arms as they only stared into each other's eyes, both had mirth and unconcealed laughter as they soaked in each other's affection. "I have something planned in our room. Care to join me, Miss Mills?" Emma whispered into Regina's lips after she leaned forward, intending to capture those lips with hers. Regina's kisses were addictive and Emma loved the fact that it felt like Regina told her how much she loved her with every kiss. "Always," Regina replied as she kissed Emma soundly, wrapping her arms around Emma's neck as she pressed herself closer into Emma's body. When Emma later spent the entire night expressing their love in action through her fingers, hands and other parts of their bodies, they were never more sure that they had found what they had spent their entire life searching for.

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><p><strong>P.S <strong>Sorry for the lack of update. I have been concentrating on my other on-going fic, In The Secret and Quiet. Let me know what you think?

T.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer : **I do not own Once Upon A Time and the characters featured in this television series.

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><p><span><strong>Enough<br>****Chapter 4**

_Christmas Day, 2014_

"Red, you can't tell anyone. Not until-" Regina said evenly until she lost her voice to continue her intended thoughts as she stared out from her passenger's side window at the moving scene around them.

"Don't worry, Regina. Granny and I are the only ones who know. It will stay that way," Red assured her friend who, she could detect from the semi-frantic tone, was worrying about the two people back in Storybrooke who didn't give a damn about her at all. It made Red so angry at the mere thought that Emma was most likely enjoying a warm cup of hot chocolate back in Storybrooke, in Snow's loft while Regina and herself was at the hospital in Boston. Even in her condition, Regina was worrying about Emma and Henry. Regina allowed herself to wonder if they had missed her on Christmas Day since the dusk light could be seen streaming into the windows of the Camaro as Red drove steadily on the highway. She allowed herself to wonder knowing that she might be faced with a disappointing answer since Emma and Henry had likely forgotten about her. There was no missed or incoming calls from Emma or Henry. If she died, she wondered how long it would take for Emma to realise that she was gone. Why she harbored hope was beyond her as she recalled the scene of Emma and the one-handed pirate kissing across the street. She was grateful for the medication that the doctor had provided or she would have ruined Red's car with that scene looping at the back of her head over and over.

With every replay in her head, she could feel the knives in her heart being twisted. When they twisted, she was reminded of the incidents and arguments she shared with Emma that resulted in those knives being stabbed into her bleeding heart. She felt drained, physically and emotionally, and she didn't need Archie to tell her that she was most likely depressed despite Red's efforts to help her out of her own head. Regina struggled to see the positive side to life as the immeasurable pain and immense pressure overwhelmed her. The diagnosis that the doctor had given her an hour ago back at the hospital only served to send her on a further spiral. She clenched her fist tightly on her lap as she started to recognise the familiar surroundings that led them to Storybrooke.

As Red drove her Mustang slowly past the town line, Regina felt a sudden tingle in her body, alike to what had happened earlier when Red was sneaking them out of Storybrooke. That was how she had found out about Red's plan. The younger brunette jolted Regina awake when she drove past the town barrier far too quickly. Not that Emma would pay attention to the change in magical field which happened when the town's creator left town. She was sure Rumple would pay her a visit to snoop around for reasons of her departure. For all Regina knew, Emma probably still had the pirate's tongue in her mouth when she left town. There was no point arguing with Red who was furious, confused and worried about her falling unconscious.

Regina shifted uncomfortably as they made their way around town, heading towards her mansion while ignoring the fact that Red had nearly broken her steering wheel from her grip. She knew Red was angry at Emma and most likely at her as well for being so careless with herself. The she-wolf was a loyal friend and a part of Regina shuddered at the thought of having Red beside her back in the Enchanted Forest as her personal guard. She would have been untouchable physically unless someone wanted to lose a limb. Emma might lose a limb if Regina gave consent since Red has been threatening to tear Emma's limb from limb since she found out about Thanksgiving.

"I'm going to stay in the guest room," Red stated firmly, as she parked her car in Regina's driveway, behind the black Mercedes. She didn't want Regina to be alone in the house, and not when Emma decided to stumble into the house smelling like rum. She didn't know what Regina was planning but she hoped that the brunette would confront Emma. She would be out of the house but within distance to step in if Emma decided to take it upon herself to convince Regina aggressively. Regina sighed as she walked slowly towards the front door, knowing that Red was merely being the protective and loyal friend that she had always craved for. Her mother never allowed her to have friends when she was growing up, preferring to isolate her into a woman who craved for her sole approval and affection. She felt guilty as she realised that Henry might have felt that way when all his friends did not age with him every year.

Red followed behind Regina, looking and listening for indication that Emma and Henry were home, as she carried the brown paper bag containing bottles of pills from the hospital pharmacy into the house. It didn't take wolf senses to know that no one has been home since they left in the morning. Regina muffled a whimper as the nausea tore into her system once again and she rushed to the ground floor bathroom. She wasn't expecting the diagnosis that the doctor had given considering the fact that she had been frozen in time for more than 28 years. Her mother's eternal youth spell had been activated the moment Leopold was dead. It had disturbed her immensely to know that her mother was prepared for her to rule over Leopold's kingdom forever. There was no end to her quest for power but Cora could not foresee that Regina would have a true love that would break the spells she placed on Regina. Rumple would no doubt find the sick and twisted irony that the Saviour would save her only to be her true undoing. Regina had thought about throughout the journey home and found the irony sickeningly poetic, Shakespearean even.

She was so tired of vomiting her entire being into toilets, the ache in her chest and lungs, the rawness in her throat. It's not about to end anytime soon since the doctors had warned her that the medicine was only temporary and could only be taken in small dosages. Something which she was sure Red would force her to adhere to. She wasn't exactly sure what her next steps would be, her sense of uncertainty overwhelmed her as she had only ever felt this lost when Daniel died. She usually could at least envision or craft out the tiny stepping stones to her first step but not today. She was in shock about a lot of things. There was Emma and that bloody pirate. Then it was the doctor's diagnosis. She was exhausted entirely and she wanted a poisoned apple so badly.

When she was sure she had nothing else to heave, she allowed Red to help her from her kneeling position. The she-wolf was totally unfazed as she merely asked Regina if the older brunette wanted to wash up before they left the bathroom. They were passed the stage in their friendship where they had anything to hide from one mother or at least Regina didn't since the she-wolf was she only one who knew of her current condition besides Granny. The duo had obviously suspected about her condition, which would explain their insistence, concern and mysteriousness but Regina was certain that Red's expression held genuine surprise when the doctor shared the extent of her condition with them.

As her eyes fluttered tiredly, indicating , betraying her exhaustion, Red carried her onto the bed which she hared with Emma in the master bedroom. An image of the blonde from earlier that day appeared behind her eyelids as she let out a choked cry. She could take the cold and uncaring behavior, she would accept being the sex toy and she swallowed the neglect and white lies despite it having tasted like hot iron. After all, it seemed a great comic turnaround for Regina to be treated in the same way as Leopold did towards her by the man's granddaughter. Regina's life was an amalgamation of karma and cosmic irony being played out in a single life and even in death she wondered if she would gain reprieve.

When Emma had shared her insecurities about never truly feeling like she was enough for the foster families that sent her back, she had wondered if the pixie dust had made an error because the blonde had basically described her life as her mother's daughter and her son's mother. It felt like Emma was the other half to her soul. Regina had never felt like she was enough for Henry, since he had left her repeatedly for his biological mother. Not even with Daniel since she knew she couldn't give him what he wanted, which was a real relationship that wasn't made of stolen kisses. With Emma, she had hope that she would be enough because she had strived to make Emma feel wanted and cherished but the proof is evident. With the realisation that her true love for Emma had not been enough for the blonde, Regina Mills was irreparably broken both physically and emotionally.

* * *

><p>When Emma finally remembered that Regina was alone in the mansion on Christmas Day, it was during dinner time when Grumpy slipped up and asked, "Hey Emma, Her Majesty hasn't summoned you and Henry back yet?" Her mouth dried and her stomach turned to stone as it suddenly occurred to her that she had not given the brunette a single call throughout the day since texting her late last night. She had shrugged off the inkling that back at the diner in the morning, the reason why Granny had threw her and Killian out was because she had made the choice of celebrating Christmas with her parents instead of with her true love. Henry's eyes had dropped to his plate and his face had an uncomfortable expression, as if he had been caught with the cookie jar. His expression was mirrored by his biological mother as the blonde felt horrible about having forgotten about out Regina entirely on a day where they were supposed to have spent together. She had told herself time and time again that it would be the last time disappointing Regina and breaking her promises to the brunette in favour of her parents but her resolve was weak. She couldn't say no to her parents, to the affection she had so crave, their "good" approval even if they hated her true love and her son's other mother. When she had texted the brunette about staying at Snow's, she told herself that she would wake up early and leave with Henry to open their presents with Regina back at the mansion then spend the entire day to make up for the dinner they had missed with her.<p>

Having ended up spending almost the whole of Christmas Day without having even thought of Regina, Emma's plan had failed so spectacularly that it made her stomach churn and her appetite lost immediately. Snow frowned at the sight of Emma's posture visibly stiffening at the reminder of her true love. It made Snow physically sick to think of Regina as Emma's true love since the woman was once a motherly figure to her. She struggled mostly with the fact that Regina was Regina, the woman who had driven her to send Emma away. Snow had lost the chance to be Emma's mother because of her and for that, she could never forgive Regina. Emma and Henry excused themselves from the dinner table despite protests from David and Killian while Snow just fumed silently, hoping that her wish would be strong enough for Emma to remain with them in the loft. Though, the raven-haired woman was certain her ex-stepmother would never forgive Emma or at least have a record breaking row with Emma to the point in which the blonde and Henry would move back in with their family. If anything, Snow White was a firm believer in hope and wishes.

As Emma and Henry gathered their coats and things, Emma's resolve to see Regina wavered. She struggled to commit to returning to the mansion and as if her memory of Regina was becoming hazy. She didn't understand why she felt that way but she couldn't remember the last time she had felt this way although the hazy feeling was somewhat familiar. When she did snap out of it, thanks to Henry, they made their quick goodbyes and Emma was once again conflicted by the disappointment in her parents' eyes. She wondered if she would be caught in between her true love and her parents until they all met their end. What Emma did not realise was the fact that she took out her exhaustion on Regina. The constant tug-of-war with Emma being the rope made the blonde highly irritable and tired, which translated to her behaviour towards Regina. Then again, perhaps there was a slight consciousness to Emma's actions, Rumple would later gleefully share, as the blonde must have enjoyed controlling and possessing Regina to an extent for her actions to have caused such deep harms to Regina, both physically and emotionally.

When Emma saw the red Mustang in the driveway of the mansion, she tightened her grip in the Bug's steering wheel, slightly annoyed at the fact that Regina didn't exactly spend Christmas alone after all.

At first when Red took Regina's side to the epic Snow vs Regina feud, she was beyond thrilled that Regina had support. Maybe having her best friend show support to her enemy would force her mother to accept that what she had with Regina was true. But as the friendship between Regina and Red progressed, Emma wasn't exactly as thrilled when Regina was at the receiving end of a very touchy and frankly, gorgeous she-wolf. Despite constant reassurance from Regina and Red, Emma had requested, or rather demanded since there was a whole lot of passive aggressiveness and jaw clenching involved, that Red and Regina had a respectable amount of distance when it came to their contact with one another.

Red could hear Emma's Bug in the driveway, the loud rumbling didn't require super hearing to make out that it was the yellow monstrosity as Regina would call it, causing the brunette's sobbing on the bed in front of her to a sudden halt. Regina had refused Red's touch and to be held, preferring to curl into a fetal position and sobbed her heart into the bedsheet. Red could only sit beside the blonde on the floor, beside the bed and imagine a few ways to kill Emma without Regina ever knowing. The she-wolf was sure that Granny would help and that would make the whole body-dumping situation far more easier. Red sighed as Regina started moving, worried that Regina's body would not be able to withstand a confrontation with Emma.

As Regina swung her legs to the edge of the bed, intending to stand and possibly walk out of the room, Red stood up and allowed Regina to rest her weight on the she-wolf. Red realised that besides a small sandwich that she had almost forced fed to Regina, the older brunette had not eaten and must be extra weak from the lack of food. She murmured something about making food and Regina rolled her eyes which were sore from crying. Regina didn't know her next step and she didn't know if she had the strength to confront Emma when Henry and Red was around but she knew she couldn't sleep beside Emma anymore. Her body could not stand being a sex toy anymore, that much she figured she could piss Emma off. Not that the blonde had taken notice of her illness or her welfare since when it started two months ago.

"What do you think you can eat?" Red asked softly as she helped Regina into the kitchen stool, ignoring the presence of the other two people in the house who she could hear marvel over the decorated living room. Regina cleared her throat, struggling to find her voice from the vomiting and crying. She mouthed "Soup," and Red smiled brightly as Regina's response because it meant that she could actually imagine herself drinking soup. "Good girl," she praised in a slightly childish manner as she started to scour the refrigerator for some chicken stock and vegetables. Regina placed her pointer on her lips to indicate for Red to remain silent when Emma and Henry entered the kitchen and dining area. Red nodded and continued going about preparing a meal for Regina, something she realised she had wanted to do since the early hours of today.

Regina closed her eyes, breathing in and out steadily in an effort to remain calm for Henry's sake. She had thought that having true love with his biological mother would allow her to rebuild their relationship but she realised that it was wistful thinking on her part. Her son was never hers and would never be because whatever they had as mother and son was on stolen time. You see, it doesn't count as mothering a person if you were the Evil Queen. So Regina didn't exactly understand why she was putting effort into being civil with someone who had basically minced her heart into unrecognizable pieces for the sake of a boy who threw her aside like 10 years meant nothing.

Henry had rushed into the kitchen area to greet her, his effervescent happiness in seeing the house decorated had arrived more than a few hours late. It was that sparkle in his eyes and the grin that had driven her to complete all the decorations because she knew that he loved Christmas. "Hey mom. You got the decorations up! A little bit late but it's very Christmassy," Henry exclaimed, as he looked around the kitchen area for cookies, something which was never missing during Christmas. Regina forced a smile as she pointed at the jar behind him for the chocolate cookies that he loved. It was a great testament to her 10 years of parenting if she had allowed him grow up oblivious to other people's pain and hurt. Or maybe it's just genetics because Emma was as oblivious as her parents.

The next person to enter the room stole Regina's breath as she struggled to face her supposed true love. She didn't think they had it anymore. At this point, she didn't want anything between them besides Henry but Regina would never get what she want. Emma waltzed in, smiling as if she didn't have a care in the world and Regina felt another stab into her flesh. To Regina, Emma didn't even appear guilty or worried that Regina might be angry. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart," Emma's sweet tone was something Regina had not heard since a few months ago and it pained her to know that she only received it because the blonde could not deny that she had just left her to celebrate Christmas on her own and that Red was around. She smiled sadly at the term of endearment, it triggered a horrible memory as she held up her hand to stop Emma from coming closer to greet her with further affection. She was happy that Red had occupied Henry with scouring the pantry for herbs or he would have been curious about their exchange, especially Emma's sickeningly sweet and unusual behaviour towards her.

Her smile was bittersweet as she realised how painful it would be to live through the memories of Emma's behaviour towards her, like being subjected to sit through a short clip that triggered your insecurities and pain. She had once used that term of endearment with Emma only to have the blonde chastise her and taunt her with it. Emma had lost her temper before dinner when Henry was still completing his homework in his room. When Regina tried to soothe the blonde's anger in bed later that night with a sexy lingerie and had used that term of endearment, she regretted it the next morning when felt the sore and the raw bruises on her arms and thighs. Needless to say, Emma forgot about hurting the brunette but remembered that term of endearment to tease her about it. Every taunt and jab added another bruise on her heart as her other bruises healed.

Emma's forehead creased at Regina's rejection but her eyes widened when Regina softly said, in a voice devoid of the strength that came with her natural commanding tone, "I'm leaving."


End file.
